Hi.

 

 

It's been a while since I've stepped into this tiny space.

Not sure who has been coming back to this lonely page though.

Grabbing some time out of the busy work life (and yes feeling really too lazy for work this weekend).

 

As always, life has always been on a constant change.

It's really incredibly amazing how things can be so different compared to just merely a year ago.

 

 

CHANGES;

 

Situation changes. Circumstance changes. And then change in perspectives follow.

Just last year now I was completely submerged in a pool of sadness and tears.

I was almost fully going through self destruction. I thought I could die of overwhelming negative thoughts and emotions. Life was pretty bad. No, it was atrociously rotten. Each and every cell in my body was filled with negativities. I could not drag myself out of the deep hole I fell into, similar to the life of Sadako you can say. The walls built up, and the facade put up was killing me every passing second. But I had no choice. That was probably the only way out, numb myself from the pain, to shut off all the emotion switch. Practically playing pretence.

 

As much as 'time heals all wounds', you can never deny that certain wounds will remain as raw and fresh as they have been. Because that's the way it is. Seeing yourself pushing your way through these negative forces from an outsider view, you start to wonder where the supersonic strength comes from. Possibly from the late night partying and being overly intoxicated. I didn't expect these wounds to turn to scars, and then gone, like how (physically) we can scrape the skin off a healing wound and it becomes all brand new again. I thought the scar would remain. I thought the hauntings and recurring fears will never cease.

 

Until someone so special appeared.

Someone who has never ever given up no matter how I shut off, how I pushed away all the care and concerns. Someone who has managed to pull me out of my shell. Learning to start all over again is not an easy peasy task. Not something you can do within a snap of fingers. It takes a lot of patience from the other party to withstand all your insecurities at the beginning of the journey. & I'm glad this special someone stood by and never left. Thoughts of whatever that happened a year ago never appeared in my mind since.

 

Cheesy as it seems, for the first time, I'm really thankful to have met someone who loves me for who I am, all my ridiculous mood swings, my temperamental self, fears, weird antics and habits.

Someone whom I don't have my reservations for, someone that I don't have to constantly be on my toes when togethher, someone I don't need to go through mind games with.

 

 

I can never be happier than I am now.

 

 

With my closest people with me, my dearest girlfriends who always stand by me,

What more can I ask for?